It's like drowning but being able to breathe. It's like dieing but feeling alive. It's like running down the street knowing if you come back you'll never live it down but coming back anyways. It's like sitting in the road knowing a car is coming. It's like watching a train rush by and feeling the wind. That is exactly how I feel.
Its this feeling I can't describe where no mater how I try I can't stand up, can't fall down, can't force a smile & can't shed a tear. I don't know. I don't KNOW. I can't control the feeling and I can't make it happen it's every part of me suddenly losing control. It's a feeling, of being overwhelmed.
The past seven days I have felt like this and you know what, today, ef it, I don't feel like being like this anymore. I'm tired of myself & tired of how I've been acting. I want to be me again, I need to do a total overhaul of my life again, and when it's time to start again, alot of things have to happen.
But yeah, basically thats been me this week, take it or leave it.
Juliet
xo.
9.17.2009
So baby keep my heart beat b-beat beating.
For some reason I keep believing...
Okay, so, fuck this.
You have actually started making me so fucking angry lately. Like, really. Your being selfish and then fuck around making me feel bad. I'm really really done with how your acting lately. Fuck you. You can put the pieces together again, I'm not trying this time, I don't think you even understand that I've lost all interest in what your saying.
On a much happier note, tonight was great.
Sitting in a field, drinking an ED, listening to music watching a sunset.
It's the littlest things you do that make a day great & you really did brighten mine. We don't always get along but your here now and that's all that counts hun (:
Coop super. dislikes me and I have a feeling she'll continue to hate me until I leave in a few months but I did like alot of the staff there, they really made me welcome. Now I just have to remember the three hundred names.
Anyways,
That was just a short update.
Juliet.
xo.
Okay, so, fuck this.
You have actually started making me so fucking angry lately. Like, really. Your being selfish and then fuck around making me feel bad. I'm really really done with how your acting lately. Fuck you. You can put the pieces together again, I'm not trying this time, I don't think you even understand that I've lost all interest in what your saying.
On a much happier note, tonight was great.
Sitting in a field, drinking an ED, listening to music watching a sunset.
It's the littlest things you do that make a day great & you really did brighten mine. We don't always get along but your here now and that's all that counts hun (:
Coop super. dislikes me and I have a feeling she'll continue to hate me until I leave in a few months but I did like alot of the staff there, they really made me welcome. Now I just have to remember the three hundred names.
Anyways,
That was just a short update.
Juliet.
xo.
9.14.2009
Nothing Feels Better Than Hiding These Days.
Bad weekend, I've been in a weird mood all weekend.
Probably going to pass soon, today was pretty good.
Thank god for co-op.
I'm listening to some old school Hedley, literally.
It reminds me of way back, years ago, a year ago. It just reminds me of a lot of good times, and all the fun I had for the past couple years. People say high school is the best few years of your life, I kinda want to believe it. I'm having fun so far. It's nice to just do whatever I want and be able to make my own choices, not that I should sometimes. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past few years, some I really regret. Opportunities that if I had taken my life would have changed.
And we'll never get back what we
Gave away, when we still have that fire in our eyes, Don't believe everything happiness says, Nothings as real as our old reckless ways, When we drink by the fires
The burning car tires, Bad girls and good liars, The dreams we'd conspire, The days we went crazy, The nights wild and hazy, Man how in the hell did we get here?
Updates.
Friday; Cause a major traffic block, nicky nicky nine door-ed for the first time in forever. Acted like a retard. Smiled like I used to.
Saturday; Stayed home & did nothing.
Sunday; Major fights & Ridiculous dreams.
Monday; Math, Physics, Twenty minutes of Co-op and then home for 1. Laughed at small children walking into doors.
I'm not all that superstitious, but I did laugh at how sure my horoscope was that I'd be dating someone by tomorrow. Cheesey. On a side note, I found my tarot cards again (: I got a new mirror too, so I ended up having to clean my room. Stupid >_<.
Brawrs party is on the 25th, I think Kat & Riley should come down with me, she has everything under the sun there, so trust you guys are covered, we should crash there. Anyone's welcome to join the party bus, crash there, or go home, your call. Should be fun either way. Sometimes it's nice to go back about 4 years and do the things I used to do, even though back then I was more straight edge than now, I guess she made me crazy, she's almost like a drug herself. Funny how she does that. I always seem drawn to these people. Most of my friends are influences, in all different ways.
Anyways, I just felt like writting, I haven't in a long time and I miss it. I miss the days I could pour my heart out to someone, or something and it helped. So here I go again, maybe I'll blog it up more often now.
On another side note, Kanye is an asshole but people need to STOP POSTING IT ON THEIR FACEBOOK. Really guys? Honestly? Stfu. I did like one status though 'Kanye how could you be so heartless?' lmfao. Fail kanye, fail.
I should be doing my homework. I'm not very motivated. Okay. I'll get off of blogger, I swear.
Love you always,
Juliet xo.
Probably going to pass soon, today was pretty good.
Thank god for co-op.
I'm listening to some old school Hedley, literally.
It reminds me of way back, years ago, a year ago. It just reminds me of a lot of good times, and all the fun I had for the past couple years. People say high school is the best few years of your life, I kinda want to believe it. I'm having fun so far. It's nice to just do whatever I want and be able to make my own choices, not that I should sometimes. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past few years, some I really regret. Opportunities that if I had taken my life would have changed.
And we'll never get back what we
Gave away, when we still have that fire in our eyes, Don't believe everything happiness says, Nothings as real as our old reckless ways, When we drink by the fires
The burning car tires, Bad girls and good liars, The dreams we'd conspire, The days we went crazy, The nights wild and hazy, Man how in the hell did we get here?
Updates.
Friday; Cause a major traffic block, nicky nicky nine door-ed for the first time in forever. Acted like a retard. Smiled like I used to.
Saturday; Stayed home & did nothing.
Sunday; Major fights & Ridiculous dreams.
Monday; Math, Physics, Twenty minutes of Co-op and then home for 1. Laughed at small children walking into doors.
I'm not all that superstitious, but I did laugh at how sure my horoscope was that I'd be dating someone by tomorrow. Cheesey. On a side note, I found my tarot cards again (: I got a new mirror too, so I ended up having to clean my room. Stupid >_<.
Brawrs party is on the 25th, I think Kat & Riley should come down with me, she has everything under the sun there, so trust you guys are covered, we should crash there. Anyone's welcome to join the party bus, crash there, or go home, your call. Should be fun either way. Sometimes it's nice to go back about 4 years and do the things I used to do, even though back then I was more straight edge than now, I guess she made me crazy, she's almost like a drug herself. Funny how she does that. I always seem drawn to these people. Most of my friends are influences, in all different ways.
Anyways, I just felt like writting, I haven't in a long time and I miss it. I miss the days I could pour my heart out to someone, or something and it helped. So here I go again, maybe I'll blog it up more often now.
On another side note, Kanye is an asshole but people need to STOP POSTING IT ON THEIR FACEBOOK. Really guys? Honestly? Stfu. I did like one status though 'Kanye how could you be so heartless?' lmfao. Fail kanye, fail.
I should be doing my homework. I'm not very motivated. Okay. I'll get off of blogger, I swear.
Love you always,
Juliet xo.
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